They say, To err is human but to forgive is divine. We’re all human alright, but we’re a long way away from discovering that ever eluding divinity. Once we make a mistake we’re immediately in the target and vision range of all those around us. After that, there’s a constant reminder of how you messed up. It doesn’t matter what you did before; the one mistake is enough to render your previous history obsolete. To quote Marc Antony from Shakespeare’s famous Julius Caesar, ” The good that men do is oft interned with their bones. So let it be with Caesar” and so it has been and continues to be with us too. People refuse to look past your moment of ill luck or bad judgement and judge you based on it.
In my experience when you mess up, you know you messed up ( for the most part, considering you’re not on substance abuse). You know it, you regret it. And the last thing you want to do is remember that. You wish you could leave it behind you and move on. You’re low on confidence and self esteem but are up to your throat in self-loathing. At this time, when what you most need is support and understanding, what you’re given instead is a cartload of judgement. Don’t misunderstand me, criticism is good, required even. But repetitive criticism is more harm than good.
Perhaps it’s the fact that we all know just how faulty we are on the inside; and watching others demonstrate their own faults somehow makes us feel better about ourselves, gives us the hope that maybe the other person is the same too and there’s nothing to worry about. At the end of the day, we’re all only human, bags of flesh, bones and hormones filled with dreams, wants and desires. What else can one hope to do with that heady concoction but take a misstep or two?